My Opposite Of Loneliness

I once read a piece by a Yale graduate, titled ‘The Opposite Of Loneliness’, and to this day it has stuck with me. While she defined the opposite of loneliness as the idea of community and togetherness, most usually found in college/ university. At the time i remember thinking of the moments in my life where i felt the opposite of lonely… high school, university… my travels and then here in Istanbul.

But now, at the age of 30, just over 5 years since I left to begin my travels to the Middle East and during a global pandemic, I feel i am forced to ask myself this question again… What is my opposite of loneliness? And despite feeling like i’ve been through the ringer this year, facing the ups and downs of life tenfold (like pretty much everyone else) i’ve come to this conclusion…

The opposite of loneliness is so heavily defined by who and where you are in this moment. And i don't mean physically, I mean mentally. For those of you who have also struggled with mental health issues, I think you can easily relate. Sometimes the opposite of loneliness is that moment of clarity where the smoke seems to clear and you can see clearly again. Sometimes the opposite of loneliness is that cup of tea at the end of a long day… the one you probably won't even finish. And sometimes the opposite of loneliness is that hug you didn't ask for, that kiss you maybe didn't expect or the unexpected text from an old friend.

Because in the end I think that many of us live in a state of loneliness and it doesn't mean necessarily mean we’re lonely or even lost. It simply means that we are constantly looking for meaning in things. And that can be pretty lonely in itself.

So is you ever find yourself wondering what the opposite of loneliness is, I think that it’s whatever you need in that moment, in that space or in that mindset, that will help make you feel just a tiny bit better.

— T